I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
