I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
