so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
