I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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