Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
