Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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