Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize