Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
