worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
