she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
