im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
