I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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