how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
