somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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