i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
