i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
