you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
