I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
