i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
