I didn't shave. On purpose
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
