I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
