I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
