i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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