I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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