East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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