32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think people are normalizing furries
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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