How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
