im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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