Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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