I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Randomize
