anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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