the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
