Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
