I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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