I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
is it fun? or sober?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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