you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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