Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
