so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
