All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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