I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
