So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
