those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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