so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
