Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
