every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
