I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
