he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
