does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
