i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize