i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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