Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
