I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
