I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I die, sorry about rent.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
