his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
