Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
