I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
