she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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