You can't special order awesome
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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