i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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