My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
