i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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