Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
