do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
