.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
