just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize