are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
