am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
