My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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