Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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