Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
