Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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