Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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