well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
