sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize